NEW YEAR – NEW YOU?

My best friend and I were in a spa hotel for new year. She was not supposed to be there (the film she is making, has utterly ripped her of all savings) and I was definitely not meant to be there (lots of very important things to do, no money, no time etc) and yet thanks to a Dutch family who rented my London home, there we were.

We talked about new year resolutions, all the things she must give up (smoking, peter-pan men) and all the things I must (chocolate, overdrafts) and then the conversation took an unexpected turn. I like where we ended up because it challenges beliefs and values and what ‘you should’ do as opposed to what ‘you can’ do. After all, the aim for all of us is a happier, more joyous life.

Me: I’m going to go heavily into mindfulness this year. Find the inner calm.

Cat: Really?

Me: yeah. I’ll feel at one. I won’t shout at my kids ever again. Or leave the oven on.  I’ll never again fight with the ex. I’m going to find a silent retreat for when he next has them for holidays. Two weeks’ silence for self-discovery and i’ll go somewhere that does detox. Like a liquid diet or something so I feel really good too. Actually, maybe fasting. I’ve never tried that.

(she re-fills my glass)

Cat: So no food and total silence.

Me: It’s like going over a pain threshold to come out feeling great. Like that army-bootcamp hell thing we did.  Will you do it with me?

Cat: No.

Me: Why not?

Cat: Coz it sounds crap.

Me: Challenging i think you mean.

Cat: I want friendship, laughter and lightness. All this close your eyes go deep within and hum; i want a group of strong, intelligent, independent women around me and to laugh until my ribs hurt.

Me: (after a long pause) Me too!

By the time we had left that spa, we had left behind my ‘zen’ ambitions along with several empty bottles. This year, we are not giving up anything, finding anything at all. Instead, we are going to live with the intention of two words;

lightness and kindness.

I wonder what words you want to live this year by?