I can’t be bothered…
Three times this week, I’ve had clients at Brixton Hypnotherapy announcing this: I can’t be bothered. As a therapist, I believe it is not true, but it’s what someone believes in order to cover something else. When you can’t be bothered, ask yourself what is the fear? Immediately a part of you will jump in and say ‘shut up! there’s no fear, I simply can’t be arsed’ whether that is to change, to do something to not do something…whatever it is, it’s like a huge cloak descends, envelopes you so you can stay in peace.
I can’t be bothered – who hasn’t felt that! I have moments when I can’t be bothered to cook, clean, work or walk the dog. But it’s not this kind of ‘laziness’ that I’m talking about. It’s a way of blocking change. The fact a client has sought out hypnotherapy in Brixton, turned up at a hypnotherapy session, means they truly can be bothered and on one level, they really want to change. However, this cloak wraps them up snug and says ‘don’t worry about it, ah, to hell with it all anyway!’ So, then there’s me, this annoying therapist asking stuff like ‘what’s the fear?’ if you could be bothered? Then comes the part of my client that is frustrated. Frustrated with this hypnotherapist asking such a daft question, frustrated with themselves for not ‘doing better’ or being able to process the question let alone answer it. And suddenly we’re in a dance of lethargy, frustration, disappointment, confusion, anger, and hopelessness!
Luckily for me as a hypnotherapist, these parts will step aside if asked so we can access hope, joy, and motivation. They are often not far away and it takes a bit of nudging but when we get the cloak parts to step aside, there they are BOOM! and that’s when you know you can work with a client like it’s not the clay that’s set solid but the one you can still mold. Well, that’s how it feels to me, although logically, I’m not re-molding anything, they are.
So next time you’re thinking about unwanted behaviour or negative patterns when you think ‘I can’t be bothered’ imagine the cloak descending and instead of getting cozy, search for your fear. It is likely to be ‘if I bothered, I might fail’ or ‘if i bothered, I don’t know what would happen’ or ‘If I bothered, I might be rejected’ – that’s just a few. The list of fears is endless and that is where hypnotherapy picks away, nips, tucks, prods, and squeezes at the clay to make it softer, more malleable and easier to change.